Funny Quotes

Haha! I have to say I just wanted to blog about something random and I found some funny quotes, I think.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
-this quote I think is funny because its kind or true! People do stress less when they have a way out of something.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
-I like this quote because all though it may be slightly disturbing to some, it take some life situation and makes it make sense compared to something we all want and have with out friends.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
-I live my life like this. I live it how I want to because u only live once. You only have so many years to do some things, so do them!
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
-this is somewhat true. I like a girl who is intelligent but also looks good. the first thing that will catch my eye will be her looks, but both her looks and brains will get my heart.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'
-I hate this. I hate holding purses. It makes us men feel uncomfortable. I mean sometimes ill turn it into a joke and I won’t mind, but when she asks u to hold it and also walk around at the same time. Like through the mall if they have to talk on the phone and hold something and they ask u to grab their purse for them and hold it for a min. you don’t actually mean a minute, u mean as we walk by all these people who don’t know me and think I have a purse. There wont be anyone in the mall, but as soon as u pick up that purse, the mall is packed with people u know and don’t know. I don’t know why I just ranted about that, holding a purse is no big deal, just don’t like to sometimes.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
-just a funny quote with a play on words.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
-again another quote that is a play on words. This is also something I never thought about until I read it online.
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
-this one actually made me think a little because this is true for me too. I don’t want to die, but when I do I want to go to heaven. I guess this just makes u realize how people want good things in life, but they don’t want to suffer to get them.
I like to read quotes that people put on the internet. I really like to see what people say because sometimes they find a way to say it so it makes sense, when I struggle to find a way to say it on my own.